I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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