oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
