you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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