You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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