More tranny stories later!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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