Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
