Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
