you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
