we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
