so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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