Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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