He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
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Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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