just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
