Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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