Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
