hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
