As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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