is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my sisters under your porch take her home
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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