real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Randomize