this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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