You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
