Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm just crazy horny about you
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
