i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
