So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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