She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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