Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(

Fav 19 1516 6957
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen

Fav 34 7189 1774
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(940): View more from Texas

never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down

Fav 48 5528 1341
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(206): View more from Washington

Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.

Fav 8 3630 1478
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(386): View more from Florida

I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.

Fav 13 2094 1889
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(802): View more from Vermont

Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable

Fav 7 1349 2795
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(302): View more from Delaware

We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.

Fav 10 1043 653
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(507): View more from Minnesota

You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex

Fav 1 36 51
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