theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
