i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just want to make out with him forever
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
