Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
