his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
