wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
