people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
