its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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