I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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