just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
