I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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