me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
