if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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