the day after is always just damage control
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
