I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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