I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
50% drunk capacity currently
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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