Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize