You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
