everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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