do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
