Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
