at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
