Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
