Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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