I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
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