Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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