Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
