Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
