I'm really into asian looking animals
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize