no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
