Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
