I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
