At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
