you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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